10. Only math course he ever took was on counting votes.
9. Only math course he ever took was on counting votes. (Hey, in Chicago, it's OK to count the same vote more than once.)
8. Failed economics. (That one should be obvious.)
7. Doesn't want Donald Trump to get a tax deduction for giving $5 million to charity because that $5 million contribution to charity would deprive governments of about $2 million in tax revenue.
6. Doesn't want to be reminded that he didn't make the basketball team.
5. What college records? You only have records if you actually go to college.
4. Was so stoned back then that he can't remember which colleges to ask for transcripts. He might have confused Columbia with Colombian.
3. Failed economics. (I don't know why this is on the list; it isn't funny.)
2. Took all the courses he could find with Marx in the title, but never did find one on Groucho, Chico, Harpo, and Zeppo.
1. Too humble to admit that he won the scholarship for Best Foreign Student.
8. Failed economics. (That one should be obvious.)
7. Doesn't want Donald Trump to get a tax deduction for giving $5 million to charity because that $5 million contribution to charity would deprive governments of about $2 million in tax revenue.
6. Doesn't want to be reminded that he didn't make the basketball team.
5. What college records? You only have records if you actually go to college.
4. Was so stoned back then that he can't remember which colleges to ask for transcripts. He might have confused Columbia with Colombian.
3. Failed economics. (I don't know why this is on the list; it isn't funny.)
2. Took all the courses he could find with Marx in the title, but never did find one on Groucho, Chico, Harpo, and Zeppo.
1. Too humble to admit that he won the scholarship for Best Foreign Student.
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